The Forgotten Life of James T Kirk
by ValandMarcelle
Summary: Khan's blood restored Kirk of his life. But what of his mind?


**Hello everyone! This is my first solo attempt at a Star Trek fic, but this idea wouldn't leave me alone! In this particular AU where Khan's blood was able to save Kirk's life, but it resulted in amnesia. It's probably going to be pretty sad, but I hope you'll enjoy! **

**-Marcelle **

* * *

The room was quiet when James Kirk finally launched back into reality. The force of the impact snapped his eyes open, and the whiteness of it almost blinded him. He blinked his eyes, trying to remind them how to function as his mind assessed the damage. Everything seemed intact, but his body felt as though he was waking up from winter hibernation.

The suggestion of sitting up entered his mind, but it was quickly extinguished by the pain the movement brought him. Instead Kirk stared at the ceiling while his mind worked frantically to put the misshapen pieces of his life back together. Nothing about the room seemed familiar from what he could see from his position on the bed-not the walls, or the counter, or the holographic screens, or even the view out the window. Everything had a gray tint around the edges, as though he should have remembered this things, but for some reason did not. Kirk could almost feel something pulling on his brain, keeping his memories tauntingly out of reach.

He shut his eyes, slowing his breathing in order to try to get his mind to relax. Panic would get him nowhere, but that knowledge still did not completely banish the rush of fear that had gripped him since he had awoken. Kirk wanted so desperately to remember that it was almost hard to think straight, but the sound of the door opening provided him with a momentary distraction as someone entered the room.

"His vitals have been steady for the last few days, but he's showed no signs of-Jim!" a voice called out in shock, clearly astounded by the sight of Kirk's bright blues eyes finally open. He could hear hurried footsteps approaching him, the sound followed by a glimpse of their own-a middle-aged man with close-cropped brown hair, a starch white medical uniform, and what seemed to be a perpetual scowl on his face. He sat at the counter beside Jim's bed, and appeared to be searching through a plethora of supplies before waving a small device over Jim's face, as though he were scanning him.

"You don't do so much as bat an eyelash for a week and a half, and the minute I step outside you decide to wake up?" the older man grumbled, sighing deeply as the scanner beeped several times. "Typical."

"Um, I'm sorry?" Jim replied hesitantly, overly aware of the uncertainty in his voice. He'd been out of it for over a week? What had happened?

"Yeah, well, you should be. Even when you're in a coma, you still manage to annoy the crap out of everyone," the man mumbled, typing something quickly on one of the many screens in the room before swiveling in his chair to directly face Jim. "Well, how do you feel?"

"Like...like I got hit by a train," he groaned in response, as pain began to emerge from the numbness that had previously overtaken his body. Kirk wanted to alert the man to the fact that his memories were gone, but refrained for reasons he couldn't quite yet fathom. Perhaps he was waiting for his moment, biding his time to see if the man would say something that would trigger anything in his mind. Sure, that seemed like something he would do.

"Can't say I'm surprised. Radiation poisoning does tend to do that to a person, even someone as invincible as you," the man gave a dry chuckle, a sound that struck Jim as especially unfamiliar. The wrinkles around this man's eyes certainly hadn't formed from excess laughter. But his words were even more of a mystery. Where would Kirk have come in contact with enough radiation to poison him? Certainly not at a desk job.

"What radiation?" he asked, almost sitting up again before recalling the pain movement brought him.

"Gee, I don't know, only the cause of your death," the man's voice rang with sarcasm as he rolled his eyes at Jim's apparent stupidity. "But you did save the ship from certain doom, so I guess it only makes sense you'd want a hero's death out of it. Just be lucky you've got me, kid."

The words "certain doom" and "hero's death" struck Jim like a punch in the gut, a sensation he somehow knew he had felt plenty of times before. He had tried to keep it together, to avoid giving away anything about his sudden case of amnesia, but this all starting to be too much. He needed answers, answers that could only be given by the scowling doctor in front of him. After all, the older man would eventually realize that Jim didn't have a clue as to what he was talking about.

"The ship...am I a captain or something?" he questioned groggily, feeling as though captain should have been a familiar term as well. But nothing specific came to mind, no foundation he could have worked for. The doctor had turned to face him again, mouth slightly agape as he took in Kirk's words.

"What kind of a dumb question is that?" he snapped, glare deepening as he stared Jim down, as though merely looking at him would help Jim's mind.

"Look, I'm sorry, but I don't remember anything about radiation, or a ship, or...or anything!" Kirk finally burst, not able to take the mystery any longer. He couldn't stand being treated like he was stupid, like he should know everything the angry man was saying when he couldn't even put a name to his face. "I don't even know who you are."


End file.
